so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
