I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
