high people should be assigned attendants
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
