she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
