I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He shit in the fireplace
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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