I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
