5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
