oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
