I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
