when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
