Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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