think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
