This girl is more easily done than said...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
