The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
