Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
