I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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