I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
