someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
