Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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