Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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