I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Did I show you my penis last night?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize