He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
