I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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