the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
