I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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