The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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