You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I cut my penus on the lid.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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