so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
