My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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