If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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