Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
