Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
