You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
