i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
