they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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