Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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