Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i drank out of a bidet.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
