my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
