you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
BRING THE BAGELS
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
