In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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