Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
