her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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