made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
