I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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