Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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