I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
