I just threw up on my dentist
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
