Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
