Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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