she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
