Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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