Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
