So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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