remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize