the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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