So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
