I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she peed on how many people?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
