I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
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the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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