Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
