This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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