So drunk, too bad you don't want this
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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