booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
