So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
