Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Still dying that you shit outside
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
